BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS
That's a little inaccurate, I didn't go into Boston during the time I was there except to drive through it and the airport. The place I DID stay is called Duxbury and it is about 30-45 min outside of Boston. But see, Boston is a place you guys all easily recognize. If I'd said Duxbury you all would have thought I'd gone insane(-er) with the strains of mass-travel and started referring to ducks as a location. Or that I had, in reality, run out of real places to go and was just starting to make cities up to seem proactive with my pass. Poorly. But no, I say that I was staying in Boston and you guys can't all point your middle fingers at me and call me insane and lazy so HEY BLOG READERS. I, Mika, am staying in Boston which is really about 40 minutes out of Boston in the middle of a forest.
I just re-read this and realized that it is doing just about everything but proving my sanity and legitimacy.
ANYWAYS
So "Boston" is a really badass place for a couple of reasons. One: it is where my aunt, uncle, and cousin live and they are awesome people with an awesome house that has home grown grapes, a fish pond, with giant frogs in the backyard and Rockband in the living room. Two: It is, in general, an awesome place with a local ice cream parlor that makes homemade daily flavors, beautiful scenic views, and at night there is literal peace and quiet. Seriously, no street lights, no traffic, no bells chiming at odd insomniac hours...darkness and silence. Awesome. Duxbury (Boston, keep up) is another place from my childhood where the idea of a backyard with no hourly passing 256 bus below it was entirely baffling. I have this theory that higher powers have made it so that I can only go back there during the peaking popularity of a major media/pop culture event. Gamecube, Rockband, DDR, and the Spice Girls are a few that come to mind. Point being, a lot of really enthusiastic and embarrassing concerts and gamer marathons went on in Duxbury over the past 15 or so years and I guess when the next big thing like the Google Car or telekinetic gaming comes out I'll know it is time to go back. Looking forward to it.
Salem, Mass:
About an hour north of Boston, (real Boston) this is probably one of the most epic little towns I have ever been to. It is a town famous for the witch trials and hunts that used to occur back in the day and to this day, the residents continue to take that to heart. A few generations of proud enthusiasm later and you have a town that starts celebrating Halloween with fervor a good month and a half before October 31st, has not lost its cobble-stoned streets or ye ol'e wooden pubs, and boasts enough paranormal occult, voodoo, Wiccan, and magic shops to make Starbuck's marketing team cream themselves. It also has a really nice art museum with a large collection of nautical and japanese art. I spent around 5 hours in this city and I saw a wonderful classical concert, ate fried pickles for the first time, drank beer out of a goblet, and met a Wiccan high priest who looked a lot like Sweeney Todd. Guys, go to Salem. You will not regret it.
Scallop Festival:
I don't exactly remember where it is but it was about a 20 min drive out of Duxbury by a really cool bridge/harbor. But that's not important. What is important is that there is a festival. devoted. entirely. to. SCALLOPS. Maybe that doesn't sound appealing to some people, but to someone who could eat PF Chang's kung pao scallops on a bi-weekly basis, this is a big and wonderful thing. Apparently once a year this tiny little harbor town takes a giant field and turns it into a carnival/crafts fair all in the name of the scallop. Actually, nothing was themed to scallops, it just looked like a regular carnival and the craft fair sold everything from maple syrup cotton candy to GIANT person-sized FOMS. I guess what makes it a scallop festival is that before or after or while you are enjoying all of these things you can go into the giant tent in the center, go to a giant makeshift kitchen in the back, and order a gigantic plate full of fresh fried scallops and other sides. It said on a sign that this festival sells over 5 tons of scallops per year which was kind of amazing to me because I had this theory that if a mass war, Helms Deep style, broke out between the townsfolk and the scallops, on a numeric level the scallops would have kicked the human race's collective ass. Regardless, scallops were delicious and that is all that matters. So if you are a scallop fan, head on down to Mass in late September and keep an eye out for ads in the local newspaper. Like I said, I can't tell you exactly where it is but that should be able to. Oh, and if you don't like scallops you should go anyways for the other stuff. Don't worry come dinner time, they have one line out of the myriad of scallop lines that serves whole grilled chickens. Sorry vegetarians/vegans.
Carson Farm:
If you haven't already gotten the vibe this was a very quaint weekend in comparison to the past two weeks in some of the country's biggest metropolitan cities. No late night bar hopping, no underground comedy clubs or rattling subways at sunrise, just makeshift carnivals, ice cream and movie nights and drives to the local bakery and ice cream shop. It was incredibly refreshing. That being said, I feel that the culmination of all this was at Carson Farm where we went apple picking for my cousin Bethany's birthday. For 20 bucks a pop you get a large shopping bag and free reign to walk through giant groves of apple trees of all varieties, picking as many as you can stuff into the bag. I have to say, there is nothing quite like eating fresh picked fruit. I am a huge lover of a wide array of fruits and there is just something small but indescribable about eating an apple seconds after plucking it off the tree branches; one that you have to polish off yourself so that it goes from dull purple-pink to the familiar red and pale green in color. Also, bonus, what else are you going to do with such an alarming amount of apples but make a ton of delicious apple products out of it like sauce, crisp, pie, and caramel apples? WIN. Depending on the season I heard they also do pumpkin, raspberry, and corn picking. There is also a small animal farm (including some really inquisitive turkeys) and a farm stand full of produce, awesome halloween decorations, and the single coolest bubble maker I have ever seen.
NAPLES, FLORIDA
Next stop on the AYJC pass-temporarily-turned-family-tour was retirement capital of the world, Naples, Florida to see my grandpa and uncle. I haven't seen my grandpa since I was 11 and he is now an 89 year old man who still cracks jokes, breaks into the occasional small dance, and talks about the years he spent traveling the world while at the same time raising 6 boys. Apparently he once had to do his taxes in the air over the Atlantic in one of those chair-beds in first class. I have an awful lot of respect for him. Now, although certain people (you know who you are) have specific instructions to murder me in a creative and epic way the second I get to a point in life where I am no longer able to eat, piss, work, or remember my own name on my own, if I did have to imagine choosing a place to retire to live out my last years, I could easily see why it'd be Florida. Between the gorgeous beaches and glitzy outdoor shopping/dining plazas, the pharmacies and doctors offices on every street corner and the generally laid back, kind demeanor of its inhabitants , Naples is like the ultimate indefinite rest stop. Not to mention the surplus of golf cart taxis. I seriously think the longest distance I ever had to walk those few days was from my terminal at the airport to my uncle's car. Normally this whole scenario, save spending time with my grandpa and uncle, would have been fairly boring for me (not an 80 year old rich woman with a toy poodle and giant diamond rings) if not a little depressing. However, the cold that had been racing to catch up with me ever since I started this crazy ass adventure finally hit and I spent a fair amount of my time in Florida probably less active and productive as most 80 year old rich women and in bed with a box of Nyquil and a steady supply of tissues. Therefore, the golf taxis, surplus of pharmacies, and lazy pace actually ended up being a huge blessing in disguise. So I guess the bottom line is that Florida is great if you are a kindly retired person looking for a bit of relaxation after a lifetime of bullshit or if you are a 21 year old with a shitty immune system and a free plane pass.
There weren't really any actual places I went to in Naples that are unique enough to be worth talking about, the main reason I went was to visit with family. My time was divided between my sickbed at my uncle's condo, my grandpa's retirement home, some pharmacies, and out to dinner at CPK. I think most, if not all, of you guys have been to CPK and CVS at least once in your life, you don't need me to tell you about it. But if you REALLY want me to:
The CVS in Florida sells the best postcards and the guy thought I was coming to the pharmacy to get something for my hair
Go to CPK and get the BLT pizza which I had serious misgivings about (mayo, tomatoes, bacon, lettuce on pizza....) but turned out to be fucking fantastic once my uncle got me to try a slice.
There you go. Also, there are beaches there that not only look exactly like the "Greetings from Paradise" postcards you see in Target but also have dolphins and fishing and awesome shells. Go see those as well.
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